WHERE DO I START?

I'm doing this blog as a tribute to my big brother, my hero, Gene. He had a major stroke and I wanted to journal his progress through his healing process.

My hopes are that one day, when Gene is feeling better, he will take over this blog and add his own words about what it was like for him to be forced to take this path in life. A road he never wanted to walk down but one day, out of the blue, he found himself traveling. Alone, with no way to turn around. The only way out was to walk forward and through the pain, trials and tribulations.

I can not even pretend to fully understand what it is like to have a stroke and I pray I never find out first hand. I can tell you what it is like to hear your loved one had a stroke, may not live and what it is like to watch him have to suffer through this. I know what it is like to feel helpless. To want to switch places with my brother, but knowing I can't.

I know what it is like to pray you one day get your brother back. The man you know and love. I know what it is like to wonder if things will ever be the same. I know what it is like to be tired, from getting up in the early hours of the morning, so I can be with my brother until his wife gets off work. I know what it's like to feel guilty, for even thinking I'm tired, when I'm blessed enough to "be able to get up" and be with my brother.

I know what it is like to have your life turned around in the time it takes to be told "Gene had a stroke and you need to get to the hospital quickly". I know what it's like to pretend to be strong when you really just want to cry, scream and blame someone when there really is no one to blame.

So for now, this blog will be my side of the story. The way I viewed everything. My feelings, my fears and my joys.